Ruth and Owen wanted a small wedding, not a scaled down large one. They invited 40 guests and used two rooms of Wrenhurst House: the Drawing Room for the ceremony, then the Great Hall for dinner.

One room for the vows

The Drawing Room seats 40 for a ceremony. That is the whole guest list, so nobody stood at the back and nobody watched from a doorway. The room is on the ground floor and step-free from the car park, which mattered to Owen's grandmother. The registrar stood at the window end, with two arrangements of white roses and no other decoration.

The ceremony lasted 25 minutes. The house team moved the chairs while the guests had drinks in the hall, which is the practical advantage of using two rooms rather than one. The Drawing Room was clear before the first photograph was taken.

Dinner in the Great Hall

The Great Hall seats 120 at round tables. For 40 guests, the team used four long tables instead, running the length of the room and leaving the fireplace clear. It is a different room from the Drawing Room, and that was the point. The wedding had a quiet, formal first half and a louder second half, with the tables close enough for one conversation to reach the other end.

Dinner was three courses at £68 a guest, with wine from the house list. The evening food was a hot buffet at £16 a guest for the people who stayed late. The hall has a late licence, so the band played until midnight and the last guests left shortly after.

What the smaller numbers changed

Forty guests changes the shape of a day. There was no top table, because Ruth and Owen sat in the middle of one long table. There was no receiving line, because they had already spoken to everyone during drinks. The cake was cut after dinner rather than before, and the first dance happened without an announcement.

It also changed the cost. The Drawing Room hire is from £1,450 and the Great Hall is from £4,800 on a winter weekday. Their planner put both rooms and the food on one written quote, so they could see the total before they signed anything.

• 40 guests for the ceremony and dinner
• Ceremony in the Drawing Room, which seats 40
• Dinner in the Great Hall, with four long tables
• Three courses at £68 a guest
• Band until midnight under the hall's late licence
• Both rooms and the food on one written quote

Advice for a small wedding

Book the rooms for the numbers you actually have. A small wedding in a large room can feel lost, and a full room does most of the work for you. Ask where guests will go between the ceremony and dinner, and check that the move does not leave anyone standing in a corridor. At Wrenhurst the answer was the hall, with drinks passed while the chairs were moved.

Ruth and Owen also asked for the fire to be lit in the Drawing Room. It was March, and the room is old enough to hold a little cold in the corners. That one request made the ceremony feel like a winter wedding without anyone mentioning the season.